Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché,
Why aren’t relationships, marriage, and friendships, like on TV, I.E. Sex and the City, Golden Girls etc.
TV sets up for expectations that just are not reflected in reality. We are all busy and stretched and there isn’t 3 generational neighborhoods where everyone is right next door. Time, distance, and diversions make things difficult. The economic realities of both spouses working, longer work hours, and longer commutes make it difficult. Corporate policy to avoid paying for health insurance means more part time jobs without benefits. This causes people to juggle multiple jobs which really makes it difficult. The lack of extended local family and the high cost of daycare makes it difficult.
Reality can be sad and lonely and it puts a lot of pressure on marriages. “You’re my everything!” isn’t realistic but our culture tries to make it so and actually needs it to be. So when it’s not which enviably it will not be – end of marriage.
Life is difficult and goals need to be fought for and consciously planned. You can’t just expect to fall into happy utopia, it doesn’t exist. There will be conflict and the need to negotiate in everything.