Every day all day long I see different versions of the same thing: Women who whenever they have a decision to make , make the wrong one by trying to do the right one.
Life is a game and when you try to play it based on the rules you learned growing up it can only work such that you created a life in which it can work. What this means is that the rules are not innate. They are not true in and of themselves no matter what you were told to be true. Therefor you can’t expect anyone else to actually follow those rules as again they are not of some greater truth but solely local and cultural no matter what you were taught to believe. If you want those rules you learned as a child actually apply to your life then throughout your life you need to only introduce people into your life that reflect the same set of rules you believe. Once you accept this look at those rules and decide if those are the rules you wish to choose to be the rules of your game. They need not be true they only have to be chosen to be your truth. That is the definition of belief. Remember you can always choose a different set of rules if you find the ones you grew up with to be inadequate to meet the intent or goal of your life.
When you have to find people who reflect whatever given set of rules you choose to subscribe to these mutually accepted rules are definition of culture. Don’t expect anyone to believe or follow them in of itself as again they are not innately true! You have to get good at observing and seeing people for who they really are and how they truly behave without interpretation, excuses, or enabling. Enabling is when you need these rules and truths to be true so you interpret others behaviors within the scope of your rules, making excuses and covering for them. It can’t work forever because it just isn’t true and this need for a “truth” makes it all about you rather than about reality. In this case it can’t be mutual or reciprocal as no one is communicating or negotiating the different realities they actually live in.