Doing that thing

Every day all day long I see different versions of the same thing: Women who whenever they have a decision to make , make the wrong one by trying to do the right one.

Life is a game and when you try to play it based on the rules you learned growing up it can only work such that you created a life in which it can work. What this means is that the rules are not innate. They are not true in and of themselves no matter what you were told to be true. Therefor you can’t expect anyone else to actually follow those rules as again they are not of some greater truth but solely local and cultural no matter what you were taught to believe.  If you want those rules you learned  as a child actually apply to your life then throughout your life you need to  only introduce people into your life that reflect the same set of rules you believe.  Once you accept this look at those rules and decide if those are the rules  you wish to choose to be the rules of your game. They need not be true they only have to be chosen to be your truth. That is the definition of belief. Remember you can always choose a different set of rules if you find the ones you grew up with to be inadequate to meet the intent or goal of your life.

When you have to find people who reflect whatever given set of rules you choose to subscribe to these mutually accepted rules are definition of culture. Don’t expect anyone to believe or follow them in of itself as again they are not innately true! You have to get good at observing and seeing people for who they really are and how they truly behave without interpretation, excuses, or enabling.  Enabling is when you need these rules and truths to be true so you interpret others behaviors within the scope of your rules, making excuses and covering for them. It can’t work forever because it just isn’t true and this need for a “truth” makes it all about you rather than about reality. In this case  it can’t be mutual or reciprocal as no one is communicating or negotiating the different realities they actually live in.


About Dr. Brilliant Cliché

Dr. Brilliant Cliché and the Granny Dr. are a fictional web presence and advice blog. Together we offer a joint perspective that is deep but not academic, entertaining but not fluff, and educated yet street smart. By joining the internet community we hope to share thoughts and stimulate insightful conversation around pressing issues that affect us all. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. (This is not a site for therapy nor does it intend to replace medical or other professional care. ) You can leave comments here or email The Dr. at and don’t forget to like us on facebook. Our facebook page is Dr. Brilliant Cliche
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One Response to Doing that thing

  1. A reader commented, “Why address specifically women?” And she was right. We live in a codependent culture that is all about false promises and enabling. It is ubiquitous. Polls support that 50% of all Americans are awaiting being saved therefore are easily manipulated the moment anyone says “Their here, It will be great, I am the one you need, Through me you will be redeemed.”

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