The Promise

One of the largest philosophical impediments I find working with people in our culture is the promise. We are taught an expectation of what will be that can be described by redemption, resolution, justice, love, forgiveness, the answer, the secret, all these are manifestations of some perfect utopic future picture that puts us in the position of victim to anything that happens in actual reality.   If what is supposed to be doesn’t happen we are unable to deal with what actually does happen leaving us in angry tantrum or depressive disillusionment.

The promise makes us victims and also allows us to be easily manipulated by anyone who promises to fulfill our expectations. We are unable to check into reality to see if the promised is being delivered. Instead we make excuses for them as we really need what they say to be true.

If you remove the promise or fixed expectation then, reality is what it is. But this “IS” are tools to be used toward Intent; The future to become what it will become.

Politicians are examples of the empty promise. Trump and Bernie Sanders both speak in utopic promising tweets . Living in their reality create victims of which will be angry or disillusioned.

Suicide bombers kill themselves and others based on the Promise. All lies. Manipulated by their religious leader promising utopic redemption, 40 virgins, reward and love in the afterlife.

Another working example is a woman I saw recently: She had been sexually abused as a child. She never told anyone and 30 years later she is paralyzed and angry.  Today in her reality she remains a victim. Her future vision  requires some justice or redemption that in reality will never occur. But she will wait and tantrum until it does. She continually seeks and gives herself up to those who promise justice or redemption and is again and again manipulated and victimized by them.

What she doesn’t realize is today her past experiences even her abuse are tools. Experiences used as tools can be recycled to empower both herself and others. One example would be for her to volunteer thus be a role model in a battered woman’s shelter. Shit makes the best fertilizer if you see it for what it is and for what it can become.

It is her choice. As it is all of ours.


About Dr. Brilliant Cliché

Dr. Brilliant Cliché and the Granny Dr. are a fictional web presence and advice blog. Together we offer a joint perspective that is deep but not academic, entertaining but not fluff, and educated yet street smart. By joining the internet community we hope to share thoughts and stimulate insightful conversation around pressing issues that affect us all. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. (This is not a site for therapy nor does it intend to replace medical or other professional care. ) You can leave comments here or email The Dr. at and don’t forget to like us on facebook. Our facebook page is Dr. Brilliant Cliche
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One Response to The Promise

  1. Ken says:

    Tools are great. We learn them, use them, and we can turn our lives around and help others as well. Evidence from past research may increase odds of success to some degree.
    Promises are empty, made by fools, con artists, and liars. The only one who could make a promise is one who has access to an infinite data base of causes and effects. No one can even come close.

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