“Dad help me make …. No you can’t do it that way.” This kind of ‘help me you can’t help me’ behavior in an adult would be called, “Borderline Personality Disorder.” In a tween to teen it is perfectly normal.
My 12 year old daughter wants to be involved in everything that goes on but holds the opinion it can’t possibly be done the way I want to do it. I just have to be wrong from definitions of words to how to improvise on a recipe i.e. Micromanaging. I have been cooking for over 30 years yet have to acquiesce on how to do a recipe to my 12 year old!
You can only know what you know so whatever is, just IS. This in a 12 year old means a huge sense of Entitlement. Kids don’t think where things like the food on the table or the things in their room come from. They exist and are hers and that is that. You don’t appreciate what are just nature’s givens. Me saying I bought all this for you just doesn’t resonate to a 12 year old. They can’t see anything more than, it’s mine then it’s mine. Why are we talking about this?
Yes indeed the saying a family is a team is true but to a 12 year old this means what’s yours is mine too.
I have to keep reminding myself that although we might run head to head in a power of wills my 12 year old really has no investment whatsoever in whatever it is we are fighting about or whatever annoying behavior she is tenaciously displaying. She lives 100% entirely in the here and now and a huge blow up over something can be no more than in that moment she was just bored and focused on whatever it was. An hour after the tantrum she can be entirely fine with the world and like, Hi dad what you doing? It is my job as the adult to let it go and enjoy this good moment with her.
Sometimes it is hard. With a bad boss I would just quit.