For the last few years Susan (made up name) has been justifying her bad decisions and self loathing by being the black sheep of her family. She compared herself to her successful sister in medical school where she dropped out of HS and worked menial service jobs. Her Uncle and brother she said also made good money as compared to her.
Turns out Susan is of a crime family steeped in drugs. Her uncle makes and diverts the product and her brother distributes it. The sister not Susan is actually the black sheep in the family as she is the only one consistent with cultural expectations as compared to family expectations. The medical student sister is like Marilyn Munster. The sister instead of being praised and supported by the family is just not understood and never affirmed. She in order to maintain her culturally consistent lifestyle has to have nothing to do with the family. Meanwhile Susan although not steeped in the illegal part of the family business makes poor self decisions that continually immerse her in crisis. She is 100% consistent with family values, expectations, and decisions. She is enmeshed and immersed with all the families’ poor boundary and codependent craziness. Susan also needs to become a black sheep.
If people knew objective truth they wouldn’t need counseling.