Black sheep?

For the last few years Susan (made up name) has been justifying her bad decisions and self loathing by being the black sheep of her family. She compared herself to her successful sister in medical school where she dropped out of HS and worked menial service jobs. Her Uncle and brother she said also made good money as compared to her.

Turns out Susan is of a crime family steeped in drugs. Her uncle makes and diverts the product and her brother distributes it. The sister not Susan is actually the black sheep in the family as she is the only one consistent with cultural expectations as compared to family expectations. The medical student sister is like Marilyn Munster. The sister instead of being praised and supported by the family is just not understood and never affirmed. She in order to maintain her culturally consistent lifestyle has to have nothing to do with the family. Meanwhile Susan although not steeped in the illegal part of the family business makes poor self decisions that continually immerse her in crisis. She is 100% consistent with family values, expectations, and decisions. She is enmeshed and immersed with all the families’ poor boundary and codependent craziness. Susan also needs to become a black sheep.

If people knew objective truth they wouldn’t need counseling.


About Dr. Brilliant Cliché

Dr. Brilliant Cliché and the Granny Dr. are a fictional web presence and advice blog. Together we offer a joint perspective that is deep but not academic, entertaining but not fluff, and educated yet street smart. By joining the internet community we hope to share thoughts and stimulate insightful conversation around pressing issues that affect us all. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. (This is not a site for therapy nor does it intend to replace medical or other professional care. ) You can leave comments here or email The Dr. at and don’t forget to like us on facebook. Our facebook page is Dr. Brilliant Cliche
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5 Responses to Black sheep?

  1. Alexis says:

    Even people who know objective truth, might still need counseling but I agree with the rest. I am the black sheep of my family and I don’t see how it’s a bad thing. I’m the only agnostic/atheist, ditched the conservative values to sport dreadlocks in defiance, and was also the first to get a bachelor’s.

    We have to learn to capitalise on our own strengths, whatever they may be.

    • Yes Alexis. I agree with you on both accounts. Knowledge and what to do with that knowledge are two different things. It is always helpful to acquire additional skills to more efficiently play in the game of life. Counseling is one way to acquire more skills. And being the black sheep can be good and an opportunity as it means you see life differently. Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes calls it the wild woman archetype. Or in her version of the ugly duckling story (in the book Woman who run with the wolves) she says when the stork was bringing you, you were so excited you jumped out of the basket early and landed with a family you were not meant to. This is why you were always out of sync. You were a swan not a duck.

      • Alexis says:

        I love that analogy. Not surprisingly I asked my mom several times growing up if I was adopted, and a few times if I secretly had another dad. Turns out that’s not the case.

        I actually do have quite a bit in common with my family, but differ on values. My mom did her best to provide me with all the opportunities she didn’t have as a child and wanted – including that bachelor’s degree. By raising me in an entirely different context from the rest of the family, I guess I was destined to be different. Not sure I was destined to love it, but I guess that comes with the territory were I’m concerned.

        What’s your story?

      • If there is a self help book about it then it means this is an universal phenomena. As such and this blog is about universal experience I decided I can best answer your question via a blog specifically devoted to it. See the most recent post. And I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

      • Alexis says:

        I thought I was following you but went back and realised I wasn’t. That’s been fixed. Also left a comment for you. 🙂

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