Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché,
My boyfriend is a breast man. He loves boobs. As such I was thinking of surprising him and getting implants. He never asked me to and he says he loves the way I look. But I seriously lack in that department and I see who his eyes track and where they linger. I can’t help feeling I am a disappointment to him. My question is not should I do it because I want to do it for him but should I talk about it first or just spring it on him as it’s not like I can return them?
First understand that this is not something you are doing for him! It is your body and you feel uncomfortable in your own bra. Another woman might think, “Accept me, all of me or hit the road.” No relationship should hinge solely on breast size; if it did, it wouldn’t last no matter how much surgery you had. There would always be a more perfect set to come along.
There are consequences to every behavior and breast augmentation has risks. Would you want to be with someone who wanted you to take those risks just to please him? If you turn the logic around, would you leave your boyfriend if he didn’t get a penis or tongue augmentation? As a doctor, my opinion is that one should never get surgery of any type if it is avoidable. The only people who legitimately might argue the benefits out way the risks are those that are in a profession where augmentation is necessary for their line of work and thus can be claimed a business expense on their taxes.
Don’t do it but at least if you’re going to anyway discuss it with him before you’re cut up.
Dr. Brilliant Cliché
Granny says: considering that your boyfriend has never expressed the slightest dissatisfaction with your breasts, I am worried about your future. You seem to have a level of insecurity that has you considering a potentially risky surgical procedure that could alter your health forever, simply because you “think” your boyfriend might like you better.
Lots of men like to look at big boobs. It doesn’t mean they want to have a relationship with every well endowed woman they see. They just wish they could play with them. Boobs are like toys in a store window for men. It has nothing to do with a relationship.
The level of insecurity you express in your letter suggests that you are not only going to suffer from jealousy and unreasonable possessiveness, you will probably also enable your boyfriend by trying to indulge every whimsy he has.
There are some personal issues you need to address. I suggest you watch the movie Singles
(1992) and observe Bridget Fonda’s character as she seeks breast implants to keep her boyfriend, Matt Dillon. I think it will tell you far more than either Dr. Brilliant or I can about relationships and boobs.