Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché,
I have a theory and I wonder if you can support it.
I am convinced that every man in the world secretly goes to Bonehead School before getting married.
In this school, they learn how to:
* pretend they don’t know how to use the washing machine
* leave food crusted on the back of plates so no one will ask them to wash the dishes again
* always come home from the grocery store with the wrong thing
* pretend not to understand you say so that you are forced to repeat everything four times
* forget to do ANYTHING until nagged a minimum of eighty times
etc, etc, etc…
Don’t try to play dumb, Dr. Brilliant. I know you’re married; you have to know where the school is.
Will you come clean and validate tortured wives everywhere?
What can I say, you found us out! But face it- people will get away with whatever they can; I suspect that women can be as guilty of this as men. So I recommend setting up boundaries and expectations from the beginning of a relationship. Never let the fear of losing a husband prevent you from stating your needs. Let him know you expect an equal relationship and responsibility has to be divided up so that it works well for both of you.
Men are like horses they function best under clear direction and expectations. Men can’t read minds, they don’t pay attention to body language, and they believe “if you didn’t ask you don’t need it.” Men are easily confused and often frustrated, if not maddened, by their inability to anticipate what their wives might want. They do not adjust for moods. Men are usually task oriented and like to be needed and useful. They also like tools and gadgets, so if you have a dishwasher they will want to use it and find it actually cool that you needn’t clean the dishes before putting them in.
In fact, if you want men to do chores eagerly, find a cool machine or toy that assists in that chore especially if it’s noisy and has a lot of buttons.
So what school do you feel woman go to, to become wives?
Dr. Brilliant Cliché
Granny says: I can answer Dr. Brilliant’s question- women go to the school of The Holy Suffering Patron of Saints and learn to live with the fact that men never really grow up; if we’re lucky, they just find games that someone will pay them to play.
I have come to accept that men are more like dogs than people. If you want to get any reasonable behavior out of them, you have to train them. They respond well to treats, pats on the head and long rides in the car with the windows down. If you don’t provide them with the admiration and sexual services they feel they deserve, they will go suck up to somebody else, so watch it. Women have no problems reading men’s mind’s because men tend to operate in a transparent manner, unless they are devious cads, in which case, why bother? Don’t worry, Madea; there is no husband school. All that crap they pull is simply from genetics and a long history of self-entitlement throughout culture. If they were actually trained, men wouldn’t be as easy to manipulate as they are. A woman can see through that stuff a mile away; unfortunately, with our lack of self-entitlement and our concern for the welfare of others, we usually end up trying to make the freaking’ husband happy anyway.