Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché;
This holiday season, I have listened to the Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Sale of A LifeTime blah blah blah… and I have reached a point where I don’t want to spend anything,
I am so resentful of the pressure to BUY!
On the news, I saw that people had camped out in front of stores all night to be the first one in the door. When I was a kid in the 60’s we did that for tickets to the Led Zeppelin
concert. Now it’s to buy flat screen TV’s?
I spoke with a policeman the other day who said domestic disturbances were going up with the holiday tension. Why do we do this to ourselves?
And why won’t the advertising industry allow me to just sing some carols, enjoy hot cider and some time with people I seldom see otherwise… without pressuring me to invest in $500 worth of holiday specialty foods, expensive wine and gala decorations from Martha Stewart?
Why do advertisers use pressure to sell this time of year? Because it works! It is called capitalism. Our whole economy fails if you don’t buy shit you don’t need. Stop being so Un-American and get out that credit card. Build debt like everyone else, it’s the only thing that can motivate you to stay in a dead end or shitty job. Besides, if you don’t buy crap to spoil your kids they won’t love you and will put you in a nursing home when you get old. If only you had gotten them that $400. Casio watch (which used to be $30. before James bond wore it), they may not have abandoned you so coldly. At least that’s what the advertisers would have you believe.
Of course, you can turn off the radio and listen to Pandora but you will need put that iPhone on lay-away and have a valid credit card for Verizon to be able to run it.
HO HO HO,
Dr. Brilliant Cliché
Granny says: if you let them get to you, they win.
This is a predictable event- every year, the retailers try to make up for a year’s worth of low profits by shoving Christmas down your throat. If you feel insecure about your relationships, or if you are nice and want everyone to be happy, you fall for it. It’s part of life in America. Get used to it.
What is NOT part of life in America are bombs and chemical weapons going off in our living rooms, bone-crushing hunger and poverty with no hope of help or redemption, or a government military that feels entitled to shoot us en masse if we protest in front of the White House.
So stop whining. Develop some back bone. You can celebrate however you want, or not at all. This is America. No one is going to stop you. They might, however, prefer to share the joy of the season with someone who isn’t such a freaking’ crab.