Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché;
My best friend treats woman like crap. Not to their faces but it’s his behavior behind their backs. To their face he is prince charming. He is currently cheating on his fiancé.
The problem is he is my friend and as such I end up getting to know all his women whom are all very nice and likable people. I find I have to be careful what I say and end up having to lie to them in order not to expose my friend’s behaviors. I know it’s really none of my business what he does or how he treats people but I find it stressful. Once when one of his women found him out they got mad and blamed me! WTF?
This guy is not your friend. He is manipulating you as much as he is these woman, although he probably enjoys your manipulation even more than theirs. People like this see other people as pawns on their board. Placing you as the keeper of his secrets gives him power over you. If you don’t walk away you are as guilty as he is.
Your friend has no real relationships; he hasn’t the skills for that. Real relationships are equal. In your friend’s superficial pseudo relations he holds all the power.
Stephen King said it the best. “Secrets are like heart worm, they will eat you from the inside out.”
This rot will affect your own relationships as well. Our lives are greatly influenced by the quality of our friend’s skills and behaviors. Surround yourself with people in your life who reflect how you want to be as a person.
The life your friend leads is entirely superficial. It cannot last and it steals the energy of those around him. All of you make sacrifices and compromises in order to maintain his facade.
Would you want your daughter dating a guy like this?
If the answer is no then don’t hang out with him either!
Dr. Brilliant Cliché
Granny says: I’m wondering who is more in denial, Snitch, you or your friend?
If your friend were a crack dealer, the only reason you would continue to hang out with him and not question his activities would be if you condoned his business and got something out of your role. If your friend was a crack dealer, this would be obvious. But your friend is anything but obvious. He’s a compulsive and gleeful liar, a crack dealer of a different sort- and you are one of his flunkies. If you don’t condone his behavior, don’t hang out with him. It’s just as dangerous to your life path as if he were a crack dealer, because people do judge you by the company you keep. Quite honestly, as well they should. Lying by omission is still lying. You’re really nothing more than another liar right now.