Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché;
My sister and I have the same parents but there the similarities end. Although I am a perfectly attractive person, when I stand next to her, I feel like a drab little mouse. She is stunningly beautiful. And she doesn’t even really try! Her long blonde hair is natural, her bright blue eyes have thick dark lashes. She is tall, with long legs like a super model. I don’t resent her, because she is a very sweet and loving sister and never puts on airs with me. But I have to admit that sometimes it seems a bit unfair. She lives in a different world than I do.
When Suzy steps up to wait for traffic to cross the street, cars screech to a halt to let her go. When she walks up to the checkout counter with her shopping basket, men fall all over themselves to let her go first. Children follow her around hoping for attention. Other women are nicer to her, as if they are trying to find her favor. Even dogs seem to fawn all over her. It makes me feel invisible.
Is the world really different for attractive people? Everything seems to come so easily to them.
Yes beautiful people are treated differently in this world; but this is not always a good thing. Beauty does not come with innate skills to deal with it, and it generates it’s own set of problems. Beautiful people can become paranoid as other are always looking at them and it seems everyone has an agenda for them. Beautiful people might become aloof in order to avoid other’s expectations of them. If they have poor boundaries and need to please people they might play dumb or be promiscuous in deferring to other’s wishes. It isn’t easy to be in the spotlight and this comes with a lot of responsibility. How their life turns out depends on their self esteem and how they deal with and tolerate other people.
It sounds as if your parents did a good job. Your sister seems self confident, has good boundaries, and is pleasant to be around. Many beautiful people aren’t so lucky.
Be careful what you wish for, you might miss being invisible.
Dr. Brilliant Cliché
The Granny Doctor observes- being born beautiful is like being born with talent, brains or sports ability. There’s what nature gave you then there is what you do with it. Beauty is not a static unchanging quality. If you want to see a glaring example of this, take a look at Charlize Theron in Aeon Flux, then look at her in Monster. If you take any beautiful woman, put 40-50 pounds on her, don’t wash her hair for a week, forget the make up, and throw in a trashy accent and bad clothes, you will have a real trailer park dog on your hands. Trust me. Beauty needs to be nurtured in order to be maintained. And I am not just talking about physical beauty. Coarse living and lack of class can deteriorate beauty like rust deteriorates metal.
I think that if women realized that beauty was a valid gift which could help them in life the same way brains can help a businessman, they wouldn’t waste it and turn it into a toy for others to play with. Someone who is beautiful needs to learn the skills that will enhance their beauty and be sensible about it’s ramifications. For instance, a super model can either go the way of Gia and end up a pathetic scabbed out HIV cadaver… or she can end up like Heidi Klum and run an empire.
If a beautiful woman chooses to go into business, she will probably get ahead much faster than an equally qualified plainer woman. But if this beautiful woman has no self esteem or brain and tries to climb on looks alone, she will just get really good at blow jobs and eventually be thrown over when a newer, hotter babe comes along.
Another thing to remember- when the tough problems come our way, being beautiful is not an asset. Ask any cancer patient on chemo, or mother who has lost a child in a tragic accident. Beauty will not protect you from pain, illness or loss.
We all have something about us that is special and unique. For some people, this is beauty. For others, it is talent, intelligence, a special warmth or the ability to get to the heart of a problem and solve it. What matters is what we do with what we are given. Fortunately, it sounds as if both you and your sister are doing just fine.