How not to be a stupid man:

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Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché,

I am married and run a rather successful small business. One of our new
secretaries is extremely attractive and seems to be rather suggestive. I am not
entirely sure she is flaunting herself at me thus I am not sure what to do
about it.

Sam Slope

Dear Sam,

Some people are like an alluring poison. They need to establish control to feel
secure. Sex is a form of control. This has nothing to do with healthy love or
even what society calls infatuation; it is entirely toxic. If you even consider
having an affair with her it will go badly for you. No matter how inflated she
might make you feel, or how much you feel you might help her, or how good a
listener she is…. it is all pure bullshit.

If you sleep with her you are turning control of your soul over to her and there
will be no backing out.  She is like cocaine. The addiction and the crash will be far more devastating than the high.  Do not think with your dick or
your ego.

A relationship with a relative stranger who has no respect for your marriage and
can’t possibly know anything about you is nothing but an ego based fantasy.
Reality always sets in. The letdown is devastating and the consequence is more
intense than the relationship was.

Keep a healthy distance from her and maintain your boundaries. Treat her no
differently than you would Bob the mailman. If you can’t, then you will have to
find a way to let her go within the bounds of reasonable business.. Most
likely, if you don’t respond, her behavior will cease.

Be careful- she might end up in conflict with your other staff.

Granny says: What are you, some kind of idiot? Don’t do anything about it, whether she
is flaunting or not. You’re married. You have a rather successful small
business. She works for you. I can’t think of a better way to screw up both
your marriage and your business.

No woman gets sexually involved with a married man just to fulfill his fantasy.
Not unless he has a lot of money and she’s a ‘Ho.

And listen- not every woman who is extremely attractive is hot to trot or some form
of alluring poison, even if she wears flattering clothes.

Granny used to wear short skirts because she had nice legs and wanted to show them off
while she was still young. It can be as simple as that. Let’s not condemn this
poor woman solely on the evidence of your hard on.

Get real. You are hoping she is flaunting herself because the idea flatters you and
makes you think you still have it.

Yes, you idiot, you do still have it. You’re still married and you still have your

Want to keep them? Keep it in your pants!


About Dr. Brilliant Cliché

Dr. Brilliant Cliché and the Granny Dr. are a fictional web presence and advice blog. Together we offer a joint perspective that is deep but not academic, entertaining but not fluff, and educated yet street smart. By joining the internet community we hope to share thoughts and stimulate insightful conversation around pressing issues that affect us all. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. (This is not a site for therapy nor does it intend to replace medical or other professional care. ) You can leave comments here or email The Dr. at and don’t forget to like us on facebook. Our facebook page is Dr. Brilliant Cliche
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4 Responses to How not to be a stupid man:

  1. Tahera says:

    Brilliant, doctor!

  2. Another reader Comment:

    Punkrgrl – Posted July 10, 2011 – 07:23PM EDT

    Establish a dress code for your employees, and enforce it. Dressing professionally is a reasonable expectation of all staff members (or they can wear scrubs, if this is an office policy). Take inappropriate dress out of the equation.

    • T. says:

      Dr. Cliche,

      Granny provides interesting insight: Sam, you are in charge of yourself!

      Doesn’t this say it all: She “seems to be rather suggestive” SEEMS? Really. Many attractive women are judged unfairly, not because they ARE suggestive, but because they SEEM to be so to the man who sees what he wants to see. She has a right to look good if it makes her feel good about herself. Of course, a professional dress code is a good idea, but then, there’s no mention of a dress code violation here!

      Sam, please stop taking your insecurities out on others, and let the poor woman do her job! You might benefit from keeping your wife’s picture on your desk and appreciating the fact that she is the one who still sees you after 20 years as you would see yourself.


      • Dear T.

        These are good points and bring up an interesting thing about marriage. Stay tuned for a few related blogs on these points…..

        Thanks again for reading and for your input.

        Dr. Brilliant Cliché

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